Corrie by Mare's Dad

"Rob reminds me of one of your mother’s sayings: “an empty vessel makes the most noise."

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:20:07 -0400

“Rob reminds me of one of your mother’s sayings: “an empty vessel makes the most noise.””

- Me - the most polite way of saying Rob is an airhead.

"Paul almost made the Great Escape."

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:03:01 -0400

“Paul almost made the Great Escape.”

"You know what I call Ryan now? ‘Scumbag Ryan.’"

Wed, 08 May 2013 22:03:00 -0400

“You know what I call Ryan now? ‘Scumbag Ryan.’”

- Me: I call him douchenozzle, personally. To each his/her own way of putting down Ryan Connor and his skeevy pursuit of Kay-teh.

"The thing I was most disappointed with tonight was that Norris didn’t eat the brownies. I was..."

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:04:00 -0400

“The thing I was most disappointed with tonight was that Norris didn’t eat the brownies. I was waiting and waiting to see him turn into a human being.”

- I feel cheated too, Dad.

"The past few months - with Paul’s wife and now with Kirsty - they’ve had some really..."

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 19:46:47 -0400

“The past few months - with Paul’s wife and now with Kirsty - they’ve had some really outstanding actors on Coronation Street. Those were not easy stories, and they were very believable.”

- Dad is most impressed.

"Did they get the glass for the windows of the pub from the popemobile?"

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 20:15:11 -0400

“Did they get the glass for the windows of the pub from the popemobile?”

- Me - Dad doesn’t believe shatterproof glass is up to current building code on a public house. In other news: FIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!

"But man oh man alive, that relationship between Fiz and Tyrone should never have happened. ..."

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:11:28 -0400

“But man oh man alive, that relationship between Fiz and Tyrone should never have happened. It’s been nothing but trouble from the get-go.”

"On Kirsty: ‘She’s going to go ballistic, isn’t she.’"

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 19:10:19 -0400

“On Kirsty: ‘She’s going to go ballistic, isn’t she.’”

"Gail, don’t tell Sally! She might as well have printed it in the Weatherfield newspaper."

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 13:03:28 -0400

“Gail, don’t tell Sally! She might as well have printed it in the Weatherfield newspaper.”

- Me - I believe that’s the Weatherfield Gazette, Dad. And what was the gossip rag that Blanche used to love reading? Oh, Blanche. I miss your tart tongue. You’d have a field day with these younguns.

"Gail doesn’t want David married, because Kylie is taking David away from her. I kind of,..."

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 20:05:04 -0500

“Gail doesn’t want David married, because Kylie is taking David away from her. I kind of, almost, sort of, maybe, a little, feel almost sorry for David.”

On Gail's bedside manner

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 17:12:23 -0500

Gail was standing by Kylie’s hospital bedside with a stone face on her - she was just like Easter Island.

Me - Dad thinks Gail looks like the Easter Island Moai, hm? Let’s compare and see. Here’s Gail, with Nick and Kylie at the hospital:

And here is one of the Easter Island statues:

I dunno. Gail’s expression reminds me more of something else…

If Dad and I were Coronation Street's Urban Planners:

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:24:30 -0500

Dad: They need another business. Where do they shop? They have the pub and the bistro, but they need something to make it feel more like a community. Where do they get their food? They used to have Fred’s butcher shop.

Me: Well, the Freshco is around the corner.

Dad: Maybe they need a bakery or something.

Me: Or maybe a clothing shop, someplace retail.

Dad: You know what they need. <beat> A candlestick maker.

"On Steve: ‘and he’s got that beard. LORD! He’s been growing that beard for four..."

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:17:35 -0500

“On Steve: ‘and he’s got that beard. LORD! He’s been growing that beard for four weeks and it’s still just stubble!’”

- Me - again, I refer you to Dad’s theory of reciprocal beard growth to evildoing in Corrie characters. But he’s right on the stubble. Steve is no George Michael in terms of stubble management.

"I like Kylie as a character. She’s the underdog who’s trying to improve herself. ..."

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:14:48 -0500

“I like Kylie as a character. She’s the underdog who’s trying to improve herself. She’s somewhat like her sister, but she’s not as volatile - she seems to have a head on her shoulders. But I can’t understand why she married that twerp.”

- Me - Dad loved Becky Macdonald, so this is high praise.

"On Nick and Kylie: ‘Those two are well-matched. Better than Leanne. I just hope she..."

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 20:07:49 -0500

“On Nick and Kylie: ‘Those two are well-matched. Better than Leanne. I just hope she hasn’t lost the baby… the writers have not been kind to Kylie, they’ve put her in an impossible spot.’”

Me: Although, to be honest, we haven’t seen much of Simon...

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:19:00 -0500

Me: Although, to be honest, we haven’t seen much of Simon lately. And to give the Sherriff Of Nottingham there his props, he was a much-needed voice of reason against the pitchfork-grabbing tendencies of Corrie residents in this Tyrone/Kirsty storyline.

I swear this kid, who is a very good actor, only ever receives the direction, “Now all the adults in your life have let you down. Act disappointed and heartbroken.” via @shatnerian

"Has Gail sold the house to David and Kylie? If so, shouldn’t she have some money from that..."

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:17:00 -0500

“Has Gail sold the house to David and Kylie? If so, shouldn’t she have some money from that sale? If the house was worth 80,000 pounds and she owed 40,000… why is she not spending it?”

- Me: Dad raises a good point. If I were Gail, I’d be on holiday somewhere before coming back to work at the Bistro. Probably in a wine region.

"Gail needs a place to live? She has a back garden to the house, doesn’t she? She could build..."

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 09:49:35 -0500

“Gail needs a place to live? She has a back garden to the house, doesn’t she? She could build an igloo out of the boxes of olives! I can see that it would be an architectural challenge but… the best part is, she’d never go hungry!”

"Norris has the IQ of a shad."

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 20:16:00 -0500

“Norris has the IQ of a shad.”

- Me: A shad? A SHAD? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

"If I had to choose between watching more of Tyrone and Kirsty or having a root canal, I think..."

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 18:44:52 -0500

“If I had to choose between watching more of Tyrone and Kirsty or having a root canal, I think I’d probably take the root canal at this point.”

- Me: Well, it can’t last that much longer, right?