May 2013
3 posts
6 tags
“Rob reminds me of one of your mother’s sayings: “an empty vessel...”
– Me - the most polite way of saying Rob is an airhead.
6 tags
“Paul almost made the Great Escape.”
5 tags
“You know what I call Ryan now? ‘Scumbag Ryan.’”
– Me: I call him douchenozzle, personally. To each his/her own way of putting down Ryan Connor and his skeevy pursuit of Kay-teh.
April 2013
3 posts
5 tags
“The thing I was most disappointed with tonight was that Norris didn’t eat...”
– I feel cheated too, Dad.
3 tags
“The past few months - with Paul’s wife and now with Kirsty - they’ve...”
– Dad is most impressed.
6 tags
“Did they get the glass for the windows of the pub from the popemobile?”
– Me - Dad doesn’t believe shatterproof glass is up to current building code on a public house. In other news: FIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!
March 2013
9 posts
7 tags
“But man oh man alive, that relationship between Fiz and Tyrone should never have...”
5 tags
“On Kirsty: ‘She’s going to go ballistic, isn’t she.’”
6 tags
“Gail, don’t tell Sally! She might as well have printed it in the...”
– Me - I believe that’s the Weatherfield Gazette, Dad. And what was the gossip rag that Blanche used to love reading? Oh, Blanche. I miss your tart tongue. You’d have a field day with these younguns.
7 tags
“Gail doesn’t want David married, because Kylie is taking David away from...”
7 tags
On Gail's bedside manner
Gail was standing by Kylie’s hospital bedside with a stone face on her - she was just like Easter Island.
Me - Dad thinks Gail looks like the Easter Island Moai, hm? Let’s compare and see. Here’s Gail, with Nick and Kylie at the hospital:
And here is one of the Easter Island statues:
I dunno. Gail’s expression reminds me more of something else…
4 tags
If Dad and I were Coronation Street's Urban...
Dad: They need another business. Where do they shop? They have the pub and the bistro, but they need something to make it feel more like a community. Where do they get their food? They used to have Fred’s butcher shop.
Me: Well, the Freshco is around the corner.
Dad: Maybe they need a bakery or something.
Me: Or maybe a clothing shop, someplace retail.
Dad: You know what they...
4 tags
“On Steve: ‘and he’s got that beard. LORD! He’s been growing...”
– Me - again, I refer you to Dad’s theory of reciprocal beard growth to evildoing in Corrie characters. But he’s right on the stubble. Steve is no George Michael in terms of stubble management.
5 tags
“I like Kylie as a character. She’s the underdog who’s trying to...”
– Me - Dad loved Becky Macdonald, so this is high praise.
5 tags
“On Nick and Kylie: ‘Those two are well-matched. Better than Leanne. I just...”
February 2013
14 posts
4 tags
“Has Gail sold the house to David and Kylie? If so, shouldn’t she have...”
– Me: Dad raises a good point. If I were Gail, I’d be on holiday somewhere before coming back to work at the Bistro. Probably in a wine region.
5 tags
“Gail needs a place to live? She has a back garden to the house, doesn’t...”
4 tags
“Norris has the IQ of a shad.”
– Me: A shad? A SHAD? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
6 tags
“If I had to choose between watching more of Tyrone and Kirsty or having a root...”
– Me: Well, it can’t last that much longer, right?
5 tags
“On the Tyrone and Kirsty storyline: ‘It’s gotten to the point that I...”
– me - it’s painful. so painful.
5 tags
“Gail was twisting the knife so much in Audrey’s back she should have used...”
– Me: I’m still laughing at this one. Electric drill!
4 tags
“I don’t feel bad for Gail. She’s getting her comeuppance. But now...”
3 tags
“I find that on Coronation Street, many of the characters have selective memory...”
4 tags
“When I look at Julie I think of the Wizard of Oz, and the one with no brain. ...”
4 tags
“I have one word for Eileen: toaster.”
– Me: I have many words for Eileen, but not for polite company.
5 tags
“With friends like Fiz, who needs enemies.”
6 tags
“Lewis has really done a number on that entire family.”
6 tags
“On Ty: ‘I don’t have any smart remarks to make. Tyrone is going...”
– Me: it’s hard to watch. Our Ty doesn’t deserve this. We need some lighthearted shenanigans on the street - a bit of levity to balance the darkness of this storyline. Not to diminish the abuse storyline, but man. Poor fella.
January 2013
14 posts
4 tags
“The way Nick’s carrying on, he should start growing a beard any day now.”
– See also Peter Barlow and the late John Stape for further examples of Dad’s Theory of Facial Hair to Evildoing Reciprocity.
3 tags
“On Sunita. And Carla. And Tyrone, for that matter: ‘I think some days...”
“While watching Downton Abbey: ‘You know when I felt sorry for Thomas? ...”
– I am waiting for the Dowager Countess to change into a tabby cat, myself.
4 tags
“You know who Peter reminds me of now? That sheriff from Robin Hood. You know,...”
5 tags
“On Kevin’s carrying on about Sophie and Jenna: You’d think instead...”
2 tags
“Guest post from Heather at Mare’s work: ‘I’ve said it before,...”
– Because we Maritimers, all we do is sit around and talk Coronation Street.
4 tags
“Peter was OK until he grew that moustache, that goatee.”
– If you will recall, Dad also thought John Stape’s downfall stemmed from his adoption of facial hair.
4 tags
“I don’t know whether I prefer Peter drinking or sober.”
3 tags
“Eva carries her handbag like she’s expecting to collect others on her arm.”
– Me: Eva could get a job as a coatrack!
3 tags
“Evil Eva is living up to her nickname.”
5 tags
“Uh oh! Uh oh!”
– Me: Danger, Will Robinson! I mean, Chinless Gail!
Pertaining to Lewis and Gail
It’s not so much what Dad is saying. It’s what he ISN’T saying. And how he’s holding his chin and frowning MOST disapprovingly. The set of dad’s jaw is speaking volumes.
5 tags
“You know it’s a sad state of affairs when the example of a solid...”
– Me: I miss Blanche.
Happy 2013!
From Mare and from Mare’s Dad.
December 2012
4 posts
4 tags
“Now Carla’s back, and she kicked her brother out of his job, though she...”
5 tags
“I’ve got a new name for Squirrel-brained Tommy: Norris Junior.”
4 tags
“Poor Tyrone, the writers haven’t done him any favours. You can see his...”
November 2012
5 posts
4 tags
“The whole problem with Eva is the way she carries her handbag.”
– Me: Hahaha! (picturing the Queen and her handbag)
4 tags
“You’re seeing a side to Lewis now that we all thought possibly was...”
– Me: O rly? Is he… evil? *puts pinky to corner of mouth*
5 tags
“As far as Maria and Marcus are concerned, I just wish them the best of luck. I...”
